In Love and War
by jbg2
Summary: As Renesmee C. (Macey) approaches maturity, she is increasingly self-aware of her negative impact on everyone she loves. On the verge of all-out war with the Volturi and with vigilantes trying to collect the bounty on her head, will she be able to negotiate life, love, and the pursuit of happiness? Or, will her private demons chase her away from everything she holds dear?


It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. Such was the intensity level in my life. There was no fence, no middle ground. The battle between love and hate had never been so palpable as on my 7th birthday.

And then it happened. The keg that I had lit seven years previously with my very existence erupted in my face.

I…..started…THE… WAR!

It was always the same dream…

Jacob was crouched in front of my body, but the most bothersome thing was there was no sound. Like a bomb had exploded and I was shell shocked.

I couldn't hear anything.

Why wasn't he a wolf? Why was I unconscious behind him? Why am I viewing all this as I stand opposite him like I'm the attacking party?

I didn't like the way he was looking at me, but then again, me, or the real me, lay unconscious behind him on the floor, and Jacob was wroth with determination. He snarled, even though it was an odd sound coming out of a human mouth.

"Stop it!" He urged angrily at me, glancing from me to the body on the ground. When he refocused on the conscious me, his eyes were pleading.

"Please Macey, you gotta stop this."

And my alarm wakes me up before I can question him or gather my bearings.

**IN LOVE AND WAR**

**A Twilight fan fiction**

**By JBG**

**I don't own "Twilight" or 'A tale of two cities." If you'd like a copy, sue me, because that's about all I can afford. **

**I found this in the old writers closet and decided to try it on again. Hope you like it! Macey is Renesmee Cullen, btw. (Mee C.)**

"Nessie"

My head popped up, eyebrows furrowed. Jacob hadn't called me by that nickname since I took a hunk out of him three years ago.

"I thought you'd learned your lesson," I countered playfully. We both knew I was bluffing.

"I thought I'd give it a go. You know for old time's sake. You being so _old_ and all…check"

I beamed, but ruefully, castling my King. Sometimes this was a sign of distress, but Jacob sucked at chess. He was playing in my trap and I'd have him in two moves.

About my being _old_. There was that. I was fully mature now. My body would cease aging. I appeared seventeen and mentally I certainly wasn't seven.

There had been other changes, too. Socially, with humans, I had to go into hiding so we didn't have to move. Now that I would no longer age, I would be allowed to enroll in school as the most recent Cullen adoptee. (In the new place of course.) We had left Forks four years ago. Long story, but as the tragedy that is my life unfolds, it was my fault.

So, socially with humans and vampires, I had to go into seclusion. The Volturi weren't coming here, but they put a bounty on my head so high others would come. Most vampires, though I have attracted two real werewolfs, a banshee (that's a story best told on Halloween) and many humans trying to 'earn' immortality. Those last ones are the easiest done away with. I shudder. Idiots. Though they could kill me, they'd have to get through my barbarian horde of bodyguards first. The main one was here with me. Tied to my hip, though I don't know why. My parents won't talk about it, but allow it. Poor Jacob. He had to leave his family, though he does seem fiercely protective of me. Why does he do it?

I glanced up at Jacob, seeing him try to iron out the crease of confusion, maybe worry on his forehead and act like I didn't see it. Please.

So, I'm a vamp/human hybrid and I don't fit in either world. Hence the seclusion, and not starting school, and my beautiful mood as of late.

"Check." I stated,

Dietary, I am a vegetarian, in all senses of the word. Not a vegan, though I tried. That was more discipline than I could handle. I'm having a moral battle with myself, so for now, nothing more will die for me to live than absolutely necessary.

This choice has had physical consequences.

"Penny for your thoughts."

"Hmm?" I wondered, daydreaming.

"Show me what you're thinking." Jacob whispered, closing the space between us so his breath tickled my ear.

I shied away from his proximity. I love him, but I am increasingly uncertain about how much he cares for me. He is so intense, but it's like a distant feeling. He'd take a bullet for me. I know this because he _has_. But why? He doesn't seem to be interested in me physically, never made a move on me. And I know I'm 'seven', but I don't look seven. Not that I think I'm beautiful and all, but I look as old as he does.

I have tried this year to distance myself from him. What if he doesn't eventually see this relationship like I am starting to? He moved with us because of me for some reason. I wouldn't have questioned this the first four years of my life. He was 'my Jacob.' We were in Forks and his hip was attached to my hip. But when it was time to move, he came with us. I didn't really have a claim to him. What happens when he wants to leave and go back to his family? What happens if I move on with a relationship, as if, and he feels like a third wheel? What if I will never find someone who I don't compare to him?

I can't fight this invisible pull he has on me. I don't really want to.

He is my best friend, but why would he give up his life for me? I don't get it. Why?

Mom won't tell me. Is it some code of honor? Maybe mom saved his life and he will have to repay the debt? I sometimes wonder if he loves her. They have a comfortableness and understanding around each other I envy. So weird. Maybe he loves her, but I don't think dad would allow that, though sometimes I know dad gets really mad at him.

Jacob waved his hand in front of my face, all humor gone. "What is it?"

"It's nothing" I finally respond.

"Macey?"

Drawing in a wavy breath, I smiled as convincingly as possible. 'May C.' from Renesmee Cullen was what I went by now. Jacob had started calling me by that name when he claimed Renesmee was a mouthful.

"Renesmee"

Jacob had said my formal name so tenderly, cupping my face in warm hands. Being forced to look at him, I could recognize the concern, though it was misplaced. I am okay. He should be comforted. My life uprooted everyone. Then endangered everyone. This wasn't even the first time. Knowing what today was, I just couldn't bring myself to celebrate my existence another year. It was painful.

"Okay" I begrudged, though as I lightly touched his face. I flashed him a memory of superfluous silliness. Alice decorating for my party. Things that wouldn't worry him, instead of my actual thoughts. "I don't want to go shopping and I don't want everyone to go to such pains." _for me, I thought._

Jacob studied my face. I know he didn't buy it, but mercifully, he didn't say anything.

This ability was handy sometimes, though I had quickly outgrown my 'gift.'

I was a movie projector at first. How useless. Cute when you're three, annoying when you are mentally sixteen. I'd rather talk than show. I feel like a freak at a Carnie attraction. How pointless is that ability in real life? How pointless in battle.

Then mom, one day, recounted the Volturi standoff. I heard stories of her friends from Africa and others' mind vision abilities.

I started practicing.

I've not figured it out completely yet, and no one knows I am doing it, but I can project my gift at will without touch now! Long story. Not always successful.

But I decided to start practicing.

My gift is most useful with my dad. I could project my 'visions' like a screen and protect my actual thoughts. What he hears is not what I am thinking.

Then, there was one time that I really didn't want Jacob to guess his birthday present. I'm a pretty horrible liar. (verbally at least.) He believed my projection though, that I was shopping with Alice that day and not what I really did. Sketch a charcoal wolf for ten hours.

That was last year.

So far, Jacob has kept my secret. He never even asked how I did it.

Jacob sighed. "You are in your own world. When you're ready, I'd love to come in."

I could sense a double meaning there while he searched my eyes, but I didn't really understand.

Jacob moved one hand to run his fingers through my hair. It was the most intimate feeling moment I had ever had with him, as he leant toward me and I felt my nervous stomach drop and I anticipated him trying to kiss me.

One inch from my face, he stopped, eyes wide, head snapping toward the door. "Aren't your parents supposed to be on the boat decorating?"

"Maybe they forgot something."

He placed a finger on my lips, listening.

The next thing I knew, Jacob had me off the chair and pinned to the wall, his warm body posed protectively in front of me.

Fear, ice cold, ran through my blood as I clutched at the back of his shirt.

I heard it too, now.

Fluid Italian. Carlisle had taught me some.

"Macey, I think we're going to have to get out of here."

"What about my family."

"Trust me."

"Always."

He burst into a wolf the same second I had jumped on his back and ducked into his soft fur. Glass erupted around us as Jacob sprinted through the bay window and straight to the forest for cover.

We past mom and dad streaking back to the cabin, coming from the houseboat.

I could hear fighting. I heard my mom scream something regarding me and for them to leave me alone. Something was different, off.

It frightened me.

Consequences. Every choice has them. I changed my diet last year. As a result, I'm not as fast or as strong, and I am slowing Jacob down by not running beside him.

Then it was over and I heard nothing. Nothing worried me more than arguing.

"Jacob, stop."

But he kept going.

"Stop!"

Had they already won? More life sacrificed because of my behalf. Lives uprooted as I escaped. I fought against the tears, but they broke through anyway. Jacob howled and pressed faster.

No more.

Not because of me.

No. more.

I made a snap decision, let go, and attempted a tuck and roll at what felt like 200 mph.

…..to be continued.

Please read and then review. PLEASE!


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